Saturday, September 19, 2009

this is a little irrelevant.

Ok well,
I've decided since we're starting over with a new apartment.
I'm getting a promotion
I'm starting all over with a new bank account
& me and my other half are starting to work things out, as you know the first baby puts a strain on a relationship,
I think it's time for me to change the way I look & think about myself.

  1. I need to slow down on the coffee, I think I drink this magical elixer about 5 times a day.
  2. I need to replace my coffee intake with WATER.
  3. I should stop eating the crappy food at my work (I work at McDonald's)
  4. My new apartments have a work out facility, I'm shy about working out, but I'll zone other people out with music or something.
  5. I need to stop worrying that He will leave me for someone else because I don't look like I used to.
I realized, I don't act the same as I did because I don't feel the same as I did a year ago.
Last year, I was more confident & less jealous.
Now I'm the complete opposite and I think he's going to leave me for someone who isn't decorated with stretch marks.

I took a break, (this has been edited at 7:43 PM), He was on break & my blogging is kind of private.
Anyway I told him I realized why I am so different from last year which is the cause of reason #5 & the realization before my break.
I don't treat myself well, not as well as I used to.
Now that there's a workout facility, I don't have to worry about a gym membership or a babysitter, I can just go & work out for an hour 5 times a week when ever He is home & isn't doing anything.

I've also been doing some budgeting. In total I am in debt $1,100 between 2 credit cards. This is a huge deal to me because I only make 8.85 an hour with an average of 45 hours per check, with my phone bill, electricity bill, rent, cable/internet & miscellaneous things like gas I'm scraping up change for my credit card bills if I don't plan a month ahead.
I do this by underestimating how much my check will be & plan off of that. It usually works to my advantage.
It's not like I live lavishly, far from it actually. The last thing I bought for myself was a brush.
Before that, work pants & before that? Underwear.
I guess not being able to reward myself a little has taken a toll on my confidence.
I tell you what, I never want to go on maternity leave until I can afford 2 months of bills.
That will not be for awhile.

Oh & also I want to quit smoking. He & I spend a lot of money on cigarettes. We share packs and go through a pack every 2 days, so about 4 packs a week.
Cigarettes here in Washington are almost $7, rounded up.
That's about $28 a week, multiply that by 4
and we spend $112 on cigarettes a month.
That's more than our cell phone bill.

What else do I feel like writing about. Let's do goals
  1. Be a size 5 in 5 months (my birthday is in February, I want to look good for my 21st!), I'm a 7ishh-9. Ever since I had Sylas I have been wearing leggings & sweats so I don't know what size I am . That's not unrealistic is it?
  2. Have zero balances on my credit cards in 6 months.
  3. I'm 20 & don't own a car, I don't even have my license, so in March I plan to have that accomplished, even though it will probably be a bucket, but oh well.
    Damn, that's pathetic.
  4. Establish some kind of customer base with my purses.
  5. Feel good about myself.

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